Believe in Me
by KayB
Summary: JC Chakotay is taken away from Kathryn and their new born child for crimes he did or didn't commit. Set after 'Endgame'. Does Kathryn have faith enough to follow him through. CHAP 10 UP NOW WITH MORE TO COME SOON!
1. No Shadow of Doubt

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek, I'll be sure to return Kathryn, Chakotay and any other characters I borrow back to the right shelve with no prior memory of this incident. Thank you.

A/N: I'm not so sure where this idea came from, but this is my attempt at a more serious and meaningful story. Let me know how it goes. Thanks. – KayB

**Believe in Me **

Admiral Kathryn Janeway sat watching the clouds roll across the African sky. She closed her eyes and breathed in slowly, inhaling the warm humid air, before turning to stare fascinated at the lizard perched on her porch banister. The lizard regarded her warily before catching a passing fly. Beside her, Molly Junior stirred restlessly. Kathryn reached out idly to stroke the pup's fur. At her mistress' touch the dog settled comfortably.

Once again, Kathryn was drawn back to the tumbling clouds. The violent speed they were going at seemed incomprehensible from this lazy spot. Kathryn remembered a time when her life had been as fast paced as the clouds. Strange, she never thought she would miss it.

"I thought I'd find you out here."

Kathryn graced the intruder with a smile, before nodding slowly to the clouds.

"Scoot," he usher the dog off the lazy chair and stretched out next to Kathryn. Molly regarded him with a growl before allowing herself to be scooped in a gentle embrace by her mistress.

When did she get to this point, she asked herself quietly? When did she let her guard down? No doubt it was when she put those bloody barriers up.

"Hmmm?" he asked, lazily stroking her hair.

"What?" she asked, meeting his eyes for the first time that day.

"You laughed…" He was interrupted by a loud wailing from the house.

Kathryn felt maternal pride, at her daughter's ability to come to her mother's rescue. She smiled gently at him before moving towards the house. Hoping, he hadn't noticed her sigh of relief.

The baby in the cot quieted as Kathryn approached. She held the dark haired baby close before moving to the changing table. _Oh Chakotay. When did it come to this?_ She asked silently. Chakotay had always believed in the spirits above. She too still prayed to them, but the spirits were definitely not helping them now.

She could leave, she realised. She could take Taya and leave, but would that solve anything? She asked herself. She'd only be hounded by the press. More questions about her and Chakotay? Could she face that?

"_Admiral, what will you do with the child?"_ She remembered a reporter had asked her, squeezing the microphone through the shoulder's of Janeway's security team as Kathryn placed a protective hand on her swollen belly. "_Is abortion an option?_"

"_Admiral, do you regret not listening to Admiral Hayes' advice?" _

"_Admiral, will this end in divorce?" _

Through the window Kathryn could make out the top of his red head. Mark. He had insister on coming. Since Chakotay had left he'd done nothing but hang around her and Taya. Kathryn's friends and family were as determined to get them together as the Voyager crew had her and Chakotay, but Kathryn hadn't been one to let people boss her around. Definitely not when it came to Starfleet, of that she was sure. She didn't need an aid to read her mail and she didn't need a secretary to write her messages, she was perfectly capable of doing it all on her own. But somehow, her control over her profession hadn't extended over personal life as well. That was something of a mess.

She rocked Taya gently as she remembered the last time she'd seen Chakotay. It had been in their rather large house – for all the children they were going to have Chakotay had said. It was close to her mother in Indiana and their personal transporter pad would get them to headquarters everyday. That day, they had been painting the nursery, Chakotay had wanted to paint a picture of Jack (who fell down the hill) with his head in a pail, but Kathryn had insisted that picture in the nursery would have to be happy images. In the end, they settled on Jack and Jill skipping up a hill and mobile of dream catchers, eagles and spaceships.

"Don't even think about it Chakotay," Kathryn held up a warning hand while she backed against a wall as he lunged forward, yellow paint on his hands.

Nevertheless, she laughed as he slipped one hand around her large waist and pulled her close, painting a yellow streak down her nose. The baby stirred, "You enjoyed that didn't you?" Chakotay whispered. "We'll have plenty of good times here the three of us, and then all your little brothers and sisters as well."

"You'll pay for that, you will" She threatened as the doorbell rang. "Later," she winked seductively heading for the door.

"Admiral Janeway?" Asked a broad shouldered Security personnel.

"Yes?"

"Step aside please and we will not harm you. We are only here for Captain Chakotay."

"Chakotay?" Kathryn moved to the banister to block their way. "What do you want with Chakotay? He's been cleared of all charges."

"This is a new charge Admiral." The officer tried to push past her up the stairs.

"Kathryn, who is it?"

"Chakotay, they say you've done something wrong." Kathryn's voice was filled with panic. They couldn't take him away, not when they'd found such happiness. No, she wouldn't let them.

"He's done more than something wrong Admiral. You're living with a murderer." There seemed to be glee in the officer's voice. Not many people had approved of the marriage between Starfleet Admiral and renegade Maquis freedom fighter. Most of them would have loved to see them brought down. Opinion was they were making a show of themselves or he was using her to buy his freedom.

"Chakotay?"

"I have no idea what they're talking about Kathryn. I haven't – done – anything – wrong."

The officer pushed past Kathryn more forcefully now, but still gentle enough so as to not hurt her or the baby.

"No!" Kathryn cried as he broke past.

"Kathryn. I haven't done anything wrong." Chakotay insisted as the officer dragged him down the stairs. Suddenly there were hundreds of uniform-clad officers pulling him away. "Believe in me, Kathryn. I love you."

"Yes Chakotay, I believe you." She felt a fluttering in her stomach. "_We_ believe you."

And that was the last time she'd seen him. She hadn't been giving the chance to visit the prisons or to have video conversations. When Taya had been born she had been a mess. She wasn't aware what the charges were or who Chakotay had allegedly killed. No one seemed to know, but everyone believed the accusations. Everyone except for the ex-Voyager crew members. They had been there at the hospital. Tom had taken pictures to smuggle to Chakotay.

A week after the birth, Starfleet had transferred her to their Africa base. "So you get some piece and much needed quiet. You'll be expected back for the trial of course. You are a witness after all."

"A witness?" Kathryn had asked Admiral Paris.

"You will testify." It was an order if nothing else.

"Testify to what? I don't even know what Chakotay has been accused of." Kathryn felt helpless sitting in her hospital bed as she watched her mentor pace the room. "I can't tell you Kathryn," he whispered, glancing around cautiously before moving to leave.

"Owen," Kathryn called. "Does he stand a chance?"

But he was gone.

And now Kathryn was here and for the first time in her life she didn't know what to do. Since her marriage, she fingered her wedding ring carefully, twisting it so it glinted in the sun that streamed through the window, since her marriage, she had come to rely so much on Chakotay; so much on his silent strength and support. She had come to need him.

But he was gone.

Taya whimpered.

If he was found guilty, Kathryn suddenly realised. Her child would grow up without a father. She'd see, Kathryn shuddered, Mark as her father figure. No, she wouldn't allow it. She'd rather Tom Paris teach Taya the finer points of life than Mark. Tom. Thomas Eugene Paris. Maybe he could help.

As Taya went back to sleep, Kathryn made sure Mark was still on the porch as she moved to the communications terminal. Chakotay had been set up, she was sure of it. Chakotay wouldn't have killed anyone. He loved her and Taya more than anything. He wouldn't have jeopardized their love. He couldn't have. She glanced at the picture on the mantelpiece. It had been taken at their first year anniversary, Chakotay held her in her arms as the posed for a picture, but at the last second, he had whispered something – Kathryn blushed at the memory – in her ear and she had turned to laugh with him. Everyone, J/C-er or non J/C-er (as the press had termed their relationship) agreed that there was nothing but love in the picture of Kathryn starring lovingly and happily into Chakotay's twinkling eyes. _Give me strength once more, Chakotay, please_.

_Kathryn – Believe in me Kathryn, I love you. _

Tbc…


	2. First Whispers of Truth

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek, I'll be sure to return Kathryn, Chakotay and any other characters I borrow back to the right shelve with no prior memory of this incident. Thank you.

A/N: Hey! Thanks for all the encouraging reviews. I feel so nervous posting the next chapter, I dunno if it'll be any good. Anyway, fingers crossed and here goes! Also, I'm sorry I haven't updated recently, I was on holiday. I know it seems stupid for me to post a first chap three days before I went away, but I didn't think and I was so excited about posting the new story I didn't think. I'm really sorry. I'll really try not to be tardy again.

**Believe in Me **

Chakotay lay on the top bunk of Starfleet's London based prison. Only the prisoners termed 'extremely dangerous' were sent here. Clearly, Admiral Paris' statement that Chakotay would never harm a fly, made no difference. Even through the ruckus some of the inmates were making in the recreation room next door – probably fighting over whose turn it was to use the holodeck – he could still hear the whispers of the two inmates on the bunk below him.

"He used to be in Starfleet, I think."

"Yeah he was," whispered the other. "He's the Commander who helped bring Voyager home."

"Voyager?"

"Don't you listen to the news-vids? He's married to the red-head Captain."

"He's married to Janeway?" Asked the voice incredulously. "She's hot." He said in a low whistle.

Chakotay's fists clenched around his blanket as he maintained the slow breathing which he knew assured the two men on the bunk below of his deep slumber.

Gently he turned on his side to slip one hand under his pillow. The men stopped talking momentarily as the bed creaked, tense in case Chakotay had heard their murmurs.

Assured by the lack of movement and Chakotay's steady controlled breathing, they resumed their conversation; but Chakotay wasn't interested anymore. Instead, his attention was focused on an old-fashioned still picture of an infant which he had drawn from his hiding place.

_Taya_. His eyes poured over the picture, milking in every detail of the child, from the tiny fingers and toes to the crinkled eyes Tom Paris had captured so well in the photograph. The black hair was so much like his own, but the blue eyes were every bit her mother's. He only hoped they stayed that way.

Minutes, though it seemed to him it was hours later, when he was finally satisfied, did his eyes move up to the all-too-familiar image of Kathryn Janeway: His wife. He grinned at the thought. She and Taya were the only things that kept him going in this god-forsaken hell hole. He studied her as he had his daughter. Although, more familiar than the infant she didn't seem any less distant. His heart broke, as he noted the tired expression behind her eyes, smiling down at the baby. Not recently settled there because of the hours of child birth she had been through, but from the weeks before as well, when she had been hounded by the press: hounded by the press because of him. He felt angry that he had caused this burden, but now he wanted nothing more than to reach into the frame and help ease her pain and hurt. He wanted to be there for her as he had promised he would be all those years ago.

He remembered reading in the newspaper of her desire to get rid of the child and recalled praying that it was just a mere rumour. A rumour concocted by the press to create excitement. He was quite sure it was, but a small part of him was weary. Kathryn was hurting and when she was upset she did unlikely things. Things she would later regret, but which he knew seemed to her at that time perfectly sensible. _Believe in me Kathryn_, he remembered whispering silently to himself; hoping wherever she was she would hear him. _Believe in me_, just like you did all those years ago.

"Chakotay? What is she telling me? Is this true?" The questions tumbled out of her mouth before we was even aware of them. She stared at her husband on the opposite end of the room in disbelief. "Chakotay?" She said incredulously. Was this the man who had sworn allegiance to her years before she had even begun to trust him?

He regarded her coolly. For a moment there was nothing there, no love, no hate and no trust. She couldn't read him. What was happening?

"God!" She gasped as she backed away from him. "No!" She reached out for the bedside table to steady herself as she gazed at the man she had promised to spend the rest of her life with only earlier today. "You slept with her when we were engaged." She spoke the statement softly. For a moment she didn't even feel like herself. This wasn't supposed to happen to her, she had trusted him, believed him like she had no other. Her eyes widen, God, how many times had she placed her life in his hands. Her hand clutched her chest as though she was trying to hold back everything she had given to him.

Chakotay tore his eyes off the tall blonde in front of him long enough to look a shaken Kathryn in the eye. The pain there so clear, her eyes were cracked glass, untainted by the Captain's mask she so often hid behind. Is this what was going to happen? Had he chased after the "Ice Maiden" so long just to ruin it on their night of utter bliss and happiness?

He sensed the blonde move and swiveled back to face her, edging slowly to Kathryn, yet keeping his eyes on the flaxen women. Her face was expressionless, her stance confident, as she eyed her prey casually. It was a gaze that would and had sent many a cadet scouring from the Academy. A gaze Captain Janeway had conquered before.

Why would Seven do this? Chakotay wondered. When he had left her a year ago, she seemed unfazed by his actions and untouched by his confession that he had not loved her, but in fact had loved her close imitation of her mentor.

"Did – You – Have – The – Affair -Chakotay?" the Captain's voice sliced through the tension in the room. Venom dripped from her tongue.

"Kathryn, no." Chakotay shook his head, how could she even think that of him.

"Then tell me what happened that night Chakotay? Because I can tell," her voice rang clear, though her body shook, "I can tell …that something did happen."

He looked into her eyes once more; the connection back in place. She cursed him silently, more so herself for allowing him to hold her again.

"It was a week before the wedding."

She shuddered. He told this exactly as he did their ancient legend.

"And we were all at the Paris' House. You, I and ... and she invited me to the porch for a… quiet word. I thought nothing of it. Then..." It was his turn to shudder as the memory played in his head and her natural instinct to grasp his arm to calm him. "Then, she ran her hand down my chest and said that I had passed out on a brilliant offer. And she told me how she was so much better than you were …than what you could ever being." The memory of Seven's cold finger running down the side of his head was too much. He paused. Oh! This was such a mess! He felt numb; his heart was racing so fast he couldn't even feel it. His next instinct was to throw up, but he took one look at Kathryn and forced the bile down. And as usual he drew his strength from her. He needed for go on for her – for them.

"I was angry Kathryn, I wasn't thinking. She was repeating it _so_ many times. I pulled her towards me," His voice caught. "I pulled her towards me." He needed Kathryn to understand what he was saying. "And kissed her… roughly. And asked her… 'Is that what you really want - to live unloved and desperate?'… and I flung her against the wall." He was a guilty child again, crying as he retold the tale of how he broke the window to his mother. "And left…" He trailed off. "…I left."

"What the Commander _left_ out, was that he asked me to meet him the next night in Musky Motels, where we… carried on where we left off." Seven's cold voice pierced the room for the first time since her accusation.

"Kathryn – I never…" Chakotay opted for the truth, but Kathryn sat there expressionless, her eyes were hollow. Where there had once been blue green swimming pools, there were instead black endless tunnels.

"Don't you believe me Kathryn? Believe me, I love you. I would never hurt you. Spirits! Don't you see that? We've got this far." He was desperate now that he could see he was loosing Kathryn and might never get her back." I _WILL NOT_ LET HER RUIN THIS FOR US!" So what if he lost Kathryn now, not all was lost - Seven would pay.

He lunged for Seven to find himself being stopped half way: stopped by fragile arms as they circled round him to hold him back.

"I believe you Chakotay." Her voice was soft: husky even. Her eyes more a melted pool of sea green then even.

He sunk to the floor and pulled Kathryn with him. As she held his shaking body she turned to her nemesis, "Leave us," she told Seven. "GET OUT!" The vigor of the scream caused her body to shake.

"You will be brought down Kathryn Janeway. I underestimated you Admiral, but one day conviction alone will not get you anywhere. I warn you, resistance is futile."

Kathryn sat cross legged on the beg, clutching Taya's teddy bear close to her as though it were _her_ comfort plaything instead. The incident two years ago was unsullied in her head, she was glad she had stuck by Chakotay and that incident only reinforced her belief the she needed to stick by him once more now.

The chronometer beeped. She stuffed Bear into the duffle before her and zipped it up. Quietly she gathered up a sleeping Taya, holding the child close to her knowing that the closure would keep the infant silenced. She strode through the living room, powerfully, yet silently passing the mantelpiece; now void of one photo.

She didn't even look back at the hiss of the door closing behind her. Mark was anything but a light sleeper. She looked to the sky, searching patiently until her eyes sought a miniscule black shape: A miniscule shape which grew darker in the purple African sunset. The thrusters set on silent, Tom Paris waved to his former Captain as he set down in front of her Indiana home.

She grinned back, properly for the first time in days and waited patiently for the hatch to open. Oh, security and safety at last. She could have fallen to her knees in thankful prayer to the spirits there and then, but instead she took a deep breath and never stopped to look back at the prison she and her child had been confined in for months… until the lights flashed on and yet another shuttle appeared, sailing down from nowhere as silent and as coolly as Lieutenant Paris had done. This time, her heart felt no joyor lightness. All her thoughts of thankful prayer were gone as she attempted to stumblethe last few stepsinto the shuttle.

"Just where do _you_ think you're going?"

Tbc…

A/N: Argh! I have no idea how that went. I tired to capture everyone's emotions as well as I could, but I'm not sure if I wrote it as clearly to depict the pain… let me know what you think… flames always welcome as well. (Better to know what you're doing wrong than to live in ignorance – LoL – look who's all serious today. It's oddly unlike me)


	3. Deeper into the Woods

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek, I'll be sure to return Kathryn, Chakotay and any other characters I borrow back to the right shelve with no prior memory of this incident. Thank you.

A/N: Hey, it's me again. Once again, sorry for posting so late – this time I've been held back by exams, but I have hols coming up again soon (and I'm not going anywhere this time), so don't worry loads of chaps coming up soon. And hey, thanks for all the reviews, you guys rock... Once again, here goes nothing!

**Believe in Me** – _Deeper into the Jungle. _

Every ounce of common sense Kathryn still had, told her to turn into the shuttle and run, but the voice was so commanding – so forceful, so different to the one, which had lulled and attempted to sooth her into some form of comfort for the past month.

"Mark?" It took Kathryn's analytical mind seconds to kick in before she realized how deep the line of deception ran.

A cadet seemed to think Kathryn's shock was a fleeting advantage, not only to the mission, but his future in Starfleet. He took a step forward, rifle poised, ready to shoot. Abruptly, Mark help up a hand to stop him.

"Sir?" The cadet was confused. This was their chance, why wasn't the Commander taking it? Hadn't they spent months at the Academy instilling into the pupils that the best time to take an enemy down was when it was least able to retaliate?

"Kathryn, you are not _my_ enemy." Commander Mark Johnson ignored the young officer.

_Rule number two – never get involved with your prey_, the officer chanted to himself. "But Commander…"

The voice echoed in Kathryn's head, it was the last thing she heard as she felt Taya being ripped from her arms as she tumbled backwards into the shuttle. Mark had never expressed any interest in Starfleet, yet there he was commander of what obviously a well trained team.

"Sorry," grinned Tom Paris, knocking her out of her reverie as he shoved a bundle back into her arms. A stream of phaser fire made its way through the hatch as it closed, seemingly in slow motion. Kathryn watched as it entered, moving only seconds before it scorched the floor she had just been sitting on.

She stumbled towards the front of the shuttle, as she felt the familiar shudder of a shuttle taking off. With one hand firmly cradling Taya close to her, she used the other to hold on to a chair's armrest. Never had the familiar grey walls of a Starfleet shuttle felt so uninviting and yet so comfortable.

"Lucky for you, you have the best pilot in boththe Alpha _and_ Delta Quadrant," Tom winked at her from his place at the helm up front, deftly dodging a stream of phaser fire from the pursuing shuttle.

Kathryn smiled weakly at him. Tom's ability to make light the direst situation often amazed, if not amused her. Even when facing the Borg he had been calm, making jokes about their lack of humanity and individualism. She took a deep ragged breath and slowly the Captain's mask slipped back into place. She sighed; the transition from woman to Captain seemed to be taking longer these days.

"Charge phasers and target their engines."

Tom hesitated; as far as he knew, Captain Janeway had never fired on a Starfleet ship before, "Captain, are you su…?"

"Do it!"

"Aye ma'am." How could he have forgotten the wrath of Captain Kathryn Janeway?

"Fire!"

Tom swiftly flew his fingers over the appropriate controls. What would Chakotay say if he'd seen Kathryn like this? He wondered. Although a Maquis rebel, Voyager's ex-first officer had always made it a point never to fire on the Federation vessels he encountered and yet here, his by-the-book wife was blowing it away on the first ship she had been command of since her return to Earth. If she didn't watch it, she'd be joining him in the 'Detention Centre' soon. He considered it for a moment; perhaps she wouldn't really mind it.

He studied the sensor results. "Enemy ship not pursuing," he turned to report to the auburn admiral, who stood flushed behind the co-pilot's station; in a stance he remembered so well.

"It's good to have you back Admiral."

"It's good to _be_ back, Tom."

Although Kathryn knew her home in Indiana was far from the safe haven it had once been, she felt a great burden life off her shoulders as she slumped into her living room chair. Although her body was comfortable, her mind protested, this is Chakotay's chair, it told her, reminding her of all the countless arguments they had had over the large armchair afore the fireplace. In the end, she had reluctantly surrendered, but only in exchange for the large oak desk in the study and complete control over shuttle maintenance. "With your track record…" she had warned to subdue his protests.

As Tom bustled about in the next room, she took in her surroundings. Since Chakotay had been arrested, she hadn't the heart to come in here, the place he had been most proud off – their living room. Every piece of furniture – bar the arm chair and sofa had been handcrafted by him, with patterns of eagles and lizards. She smiled, thinking of their significance and she remembered their first vision quest together.

"An eagle, I should have guessed." She laughed as she looked up into the bright sky, allowing Chakotay to lead their traipse the thick jungle.

He merely smiled as he wove his way through the thick trees, looking back protectively every few seconds to make sure Kathryn was alright. From what she had told him, she had hardly any real experience of forests, much less dark, dangerous jungles and although this one was just in his imagination, his need to care for her, seemed to extend from the waking world into this one as well.

"We're almost there," he comforted as he sensed her pulling on his hand to slow down.

"No Chakotay," her voice was a husky whisper, "We're _already_ here."

He peered into the trees. Although daytime, the light hardly penetrated through the thick canopy of trees. "Kathryn, this isn't…" He paused as he felt her hand slip out of his – it took him a moment to adjust to the lack of closure. When he did, he realised she was walking towards one of the large oaks, her hand outstretched in front of her. She paused momentarily and although he couldn't make out what it was, something scurried onto the palm of her hand. She whispered soothingly to it as she sauntered back towards him. "Chakotay," she introduced, "I'd like you to meet my spirit guide."

A lizard.

"A lizard," he heard a voice overhead speak. He glanced up at the eagle which swooped down onto his shoulder. "Kathryn," the eagle addressed the lizard rather than the red-head Captain who stood before him. "I take it you have come for our blessing."

Kathryn wasn't sure if she should feel insulted, or glad that the hard penetrating glare wasn't directed at her; but it might as well have been. She struggled to keep her gaze on the great bird before her and from the pressure of her lizard's tiny feet digging into her hand, it was clearly doing the same. The lizard ran up her arm and in that instant, Kathryn could have kicked herself for betraying her weakness and looking away.

The eagle turned to look proudly at Chakotay, who was grinning at Kathryn – clearly amused by her obvious discomfort. The great Kathryn Janeway defeated by a bird of prey – never!

"There will be hardships ahead – great hardships to endure. There always have been and there always will be."

Kathryn nodded – that was obvious, the Delta Quadrant, facing constant threat from species after species, struggling to negotiate Voyager's survival, keep the crew moral intact and far from any ideas of mutiny – those were hardships enough. And although, after all that it was difficult to imagine anything being more difficult, the idea that life wouldn't be a bed of roses was logical enough to be expected.

"Things are not as they seem."

Her scientific mind could comprehend that as well. Who would have thought an innocent black hole void of stars and anything of any interest had a pull of gravity so strong it could swallow up and crush a whole planetary system? All these things she knew, so why was this big bird repeating them all over again?

"The deeper you go, the more peril there will be. The fruit of your lives depends on it."

This was beyond Kathryn, it didn't make sense. She wasn't planning on going deeper into anywhere – not even space. When they offered her a promotion, Admiral Hayes had warned her in cautious tones there would be no space travel involved – at least not for a while, until she adjusted to life back on Earth. And as for the fruit of her life, as far as she saw it, her life was fruitful enough, heck, hadn't she become an Admiral like her father and wasn't she married to the man she loved?

_What a bunch of nonsense_, her lizard told her. Kathryn looked at Chakotay and his eagle to see if they had heard the scornful words. They hadn't, but instead seemed to be involved in pretty much a private conversation of their own.

_What did it all mean, though? _Kathryn asked her reptilian counterpart, but the vision quest had ended and she found herself lying in Chakotay's arms in their bed. "What did it all mean, though?" She asked him. He shrugged as he kissed her forehead, "We'll know when the time's right. Right now, I have a whole lot of other things on my mind," he said as he glanced towards the wedding image captured only hours ago.

"What did it all mean, though?" She found herself addressing the very same picture on her mantelpiece. She didn't expect an answer, of course and rather found herself staring at the lizard carved above the fireplace for a response to her question.

"You have to go, it's not safe here."

"Tom?" Startled, Kathryn jumped out of her chair and whirled to face her ex-Lieutenant.

Tom glanced at the picture and then back again at Kathryn, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to in…"

"No, no, I was lost in thought," She ran a hand through her hair, "I just have to grab a few things and we can go; Taya's things, mostly."

Tom nodded, he had a child of his own – he understood.

As Kathryn hurried upstairs she stumbled over Chakotay's boots on the stairs. _How many times do I have to tell him to put these away? _She scowled. Instantaneously, it dawned on her that she might never get to tell him to put anything away ever again. "Argh!" She kicked a boot down the stairs. Taya started to cry as it thumped down the stairs and crashed to the floor, with a resolute sound.

"Shhh," she said as she marched upstairs, not for a second stopping to look at the nursery Taya had never slept in. Only when she neared the bedroom, did she realise her swift pace wasn't helping sooth the child.

"We'll get him back, don't worry" she assured her wailing daughter, but Taya's crying persisted; she had never known this 'him' her mother kept referring to. "I promise you Taya, we will," Kathryn repeated with as much conviction as she could muster. Taya sniveled and hiccupped; clearly 'he', meant a lot to her mother.


	4. Scent of Murder

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek, I'll be sure to return Kathryn, Chakotay and any other characters I borrow back to the right shelf with no prior memory of this incident. Thank you.

A/N: And you guys said I wouldn't post regularly – LoL – okay, so you didn't exactly say that, I just spent ages feeling guilty while I sat in the examination hall going, "Hmmm, I wonder what should happen next." Anyway, thanks for the reviews again! I just love reading 'em – you guys rock! This one's for all of you… especially Seokie who I've been trying to get to read my stories for ages and who finally has – thanks for the unbiased views and the support! flashes my award winning smile

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**Believe in Me** – The Scent of Murder

B'Elanna Torres watched patiently as the woman she once called Captain wore a well traced path from one end of the living room to the other. Next to her, on the sofa, Harry Kim sat squirming uncomfortably. It took B'Elanna all the self-control she had not to tell him off. Instead, she laid a calming hand on his shoulder. He was still young, and although far more experienced, not very much unlike the naïve ensign who had come onboard Voyager ten years ago. It must be unsettling for him, she reminded herself, to see The Captain in such a frazzled condition – so unlike the collected ambassador to the Delta Quadrant she had once been.

She looked back as Kathryn finally stopped outside the Paris-Torres living room window which overlooked their vast garden; undoubtedly the older woman was remembering last year's Voyager reunion. It had been Voyager's 2nd Anniversary and Chakotay had insisted they have Delta-Quadrant themed food. This had ensued in a heated discussion between him and the pregnant Captain who, although hadn't been able to stand Leola Root before, now abhorred the vegetable. Undoubtedly, at this very moment Kathryn Janeway was regretting that argument.

"Captain," B'Elanna moved to the window before Kathryn could inflict any more emotional abuse on herself, "Why don't you come and sit down, huh? Tom will be back soon."

Kathryn looked into her ex-chief engineers eyes, and the anxiousness and worry she saw there brought her back to reality. "Yes, I think I will. Thank you." She turned to face the rest of the room, and found six concerned gazes trained on her. "All of you," she added as an after-thought.

"The Commander was our friend too. It is only logical that we want to save him as much as you do." Tuvok, the Vulcan's steady logical voice cut through the room.

"We want to know why he's in there as well Captain. We want to set him free," the Doctor chimed in.

It was true, she realised. They really did want to see him back at her side. All of them; which was why Tom had gone all the way to Starfleet Headquarters today, a Sunday, to "dig up" any information he could find on the arrest. Although he hadn't mentioned it, she was sure he was going to use what he called the "Paris Act" on the computer's safety backup system. Kathryn thanked the stars that he was so identical to his Admiral father who had access to Starfleet's top records and information.

The front door slammed and the much-awaited Tom Paris burst into the room. "Hi honey," he winked at his wife, B'Elanna, before addressing the rest of the room. "Hey, we're all here, and it's not even a reunion!" He looked around for a moment, "Well…not all, I mean Sev…"

"What did you find out?" B'Elanna cut in dragging her husband over to the sofa. Somehow, ever since their wedding, Kathryn and Chakotay hadn't liked to discuss the ex-Borg. Overnight, the pictures of her and Kathryn had disappeared from the mantelpiece, bar the one where she stood in a group picture with the rest of the senior crew. Seven, in turn, hadn't turned up for any Voyager reunions or Christmas parties. Although B'Elanna suspected there was more to the saga than met the eye, she put it down to Seven's discomfort over being dumped by Chakotay for Kathryn, _and_ her eagerness to breakaway from Voyager, which although no one would admit was as much a collective to the blonde as the Borg had been. She was probably much immersed in her new life as a lawyer for one of Starfleet's top notch law firms.

"I've got Chakotay's civilian _and_ Starfleet profile, criminal records, voter registration forms, court files, arrest logs, counseling details" he said as he handed the padds out to each of them.

"Thanks," said Kathryn as he handed one to her. Personally, she would have preferred to go over all of them herself, that way she could ensure that no one missed out on anything important, but she realised it was probably more important now, than it had never been before, to show her crew she trusted them – besides hadn't they shown their courage and quick-thinking in other dire situations. Just because neither of them had been in space since Voyager's return didn't mean they were suddenly inept.

The padd Tom had given her, Chakotay's Starfleet profile, didn't tell her anymore than it had when she had been sent off on Voyager to capture him. The only added details were that his time on Voyager was seen a penance for the crimes he had committed as a Maquis and any commendation earned on Voyager could be transferred to the Alpha Quadrant as well. It went on to say that since his promotion to Captain, he had started teaching an anthropology course at Starfleet Academy and the most recent that he was in Starfleet's London Based prison.

Although the last piece of information was new to her, it wasn't welcoming intelligence. Criminals sent to London were usually those termed as 'extremely dangerous' and didn't see the light of day until taken across the outdoor court into the execution tower – which although now rid of the noose favored by the old British Kings and Queens, now housed a sickbay which dosed prisoners sent there with lethal drugs and pills.

She had to take a deep breath to clear her mind of the last thought, as she looked around the room at her friends, hunched over their padds. Perhaps one of them would come up with something of more use – because right now the only plan she could come up with short of bombarding their way into the penal centre; was to commit a felon serious enough to gain admittance into what had once been the renown tourist attraction; now closed to all, bar Starfleet personnel of the highest ranking or those with their permission.

One by one, her closest friends looked up, each face as black and apologetic as the next, until at last it was only Tom reading from his padd. Kathryn knew he had probably saved the most interesting padd for himself, but surely he would be done by now – those tablets could only store about an hour and a half's worth reading information on them.

"I'll get us a drink," said B'Elanna finally as her voice pierced the tense silence and she moved from the living room.

Kathryn nodded gratefully. She wanted to smile and give them all great big hugs to show them how grateful she was, but not only was she far from a sentimental person, her heart was too heavy and her mind, miles away. She had been to Tower of London only once since it had been converted into a prison, she remembered the campus being neat and tidy with flowers and big trees. Even the waiting room had been pleasant, with large comfy chairs, but she remembered the shocking conditions of the inmate's cells, so unlike the reasonably comfortable prisons of the 21st century and although the rooms housed most commodities people looked for in a basic living facility, such as libraries and a holodeck, those rooms were kept in the poorest conditions… newspapers were battered, padds dented and the a large grid of the holodeck which someone informed her had been damaged from a fight – had never been repaired. Although London was one of the coldest habitable places on this 24th century Earth, the beds were covered with a thin blanket and heating units were scarcely functional. She remembered thinking that if that was the life you were going to get for getting revenge on the Admiral who had send your brother out to war, vengeance wasn't worth it.

"I've got it!" Said Tom suddenly, looking up. A loud crash was heard from the kitchen as B'Elanna dashed into the room. Upstairs Taya Janeway and Miral Torres-Paris burst into tears, startled at the loud noise their parents were making. "Seven's firm is representing Starfleet, the plaintiff. She'll definitely know what's going on."

"Tom, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. Annika has made it perfectly clear she doesn't want anything to do with us," said Kathryn. It was just their luck that the one piece of useful information they could get had to involve _her._ "There's something else. There's got to be." She struggled to keep the desperation out of her voice.

"Oh, come on Captain," said Tom oblivious to the passion in Kathryn's tone, "We need all the help we can get. Surely Seven will want to help; I mean if it wasn't for you, she'd never be the person she is today." And for the second time in his life, Thomas Eugene Paris went against her orders and marched to the console.

"Tom, I don't…" B'Elanna warned, but it was too late.

"Mrs. Hansen, its Tom Paris, is Seven, I mean Annika there, please?"

The older woman seemed taken aback by Tom's statement. She looked as though she hadn't slept in days, but her sunken, bloodshot eyes came to life when she saw his face. "You! You have the nerve to call here after what you and _that… woman…_ have done to my niece!" She was aggressive, so unlike the patient lady Seven had introduced at Voyager's homecoming. Her eyes blazed with anger as they looked out of the communications console, past Tom's confused eyes and into Kathryn Janeway's blue ones. "You deserve everything you've got!"

"Uhum," Tom cleared his throat as he looked away from the now blank terminal and back into what would have been a quiet room if not for the wailing coming from the nursery.

Kathryn stared at the screen, stunned and shocked. Never had so much hostility been directed at her personally; she didn't know what to do, what to say, how to react. "Taya," she forced out the excuse hoarsely and dashed from the room quickly, shaking her head the keep the memories from flooding back.

"You don't listen do you?" hissed B'Elanna as she followed Kathryn out.

Tom turned back at the three men left in the room with him, "I didn't know. I swear, I mean I thought the only reason we never see her was because she was too busy being a lawyer. Why didn't you say something?"

It took a moment for Tuvok to reply, "It is clear Mr. Paris that there is more to the 'only reason we never see Seven of Nine' than her duties to the bar."

"Humph!" Said the Doctor, "She seemed fine the last time I talked to her."

"You've talked to Seven?" Asked Harry.

"Yes, but not since six months ago."

Tbc…


	5. Ties that Bind

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek, I'll be sure to return Kathryn, Chakotay and any other characters I borrow back to the right shelf with no prior memory of this incident, so they can continue their loveless, luckless lives. Thank you.

A/N: And here I thought I was a Trekkie – well, at least I can tell my Mum I don't know Star Trek as well as my history text book the next time she finds fault with me. I'm sorry I didn't realise about the whole death penalty thing and I'll rewrite the previous chapter as soon as I have time – don't worry it won't change much, just the death-penalty bit won't exist. Thanks for the info Quadrantie!

A/N: It was tough deciding how this would go, while trying to keep everyone in character, and I decided this is the best way to go. Any comments on any part of the story would be greatly appreciated. It's brilliant to know that there are people out there actually reading this – thanks.

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**Chapter Five – Ties that Bind**

Once upon a time, it would have been Kathryn Janeway running after her hysterical chief engineer, assuring her that everything would be okay; but unlike Kathryn, B'Elanna wasn't sure what she could say – if anything, to make her former Captain feel better. As she raced to the nursery, she ran through their previous heart to hearts in her mind. After B'Elanna's reencounter with Dreadnought, when she had been terrified at her own ability to create something so horrific, the Captain had said that what was important was that in the end we realised our mistakes and we worked on how to fix them, what was important was that she tried desperately hard to be the best person she could be.

When Chakotay had told Kathryn about B'Elanna's attempts to hurt herself after receiving news of the Maquis deaths, B'Elanna felt that she had been betrayed by Voyager's first officer, but of course Kathryn's presence in her quarters that night, soothingly asking B'Elanna to talk to her had been a comforting one. They hadn't spoken much, B'Elanna had gone though all that with Chakotay – but she remembered desperately clinging to the Captain and crying her eyes out, something the Klingon part of her would never have let her reveal in front of Chakotay. But there was something assuring in the Captain's presence, that made B'Elanna feel that she was never going to be judged or misunderstood. _Like a mother, _B'Elanna had thought after her experience on the Barge of the Dead. Sure, she wasn't her real mother, but she felt that those few years with Captain Janeway compensated for the years she had spent alone with her timid father. And it was the words they had shared then, which came back to guide her now,

"_I don't know if what I'm going to tell you is right or wrong, 'Lanna, but I can tell you that I am speaking from my heart – I can tell you the truth and I can tell you what I believe, I know it's not much, but somehow it will make all the difference." _

She was right. Kathryn was always right. Those words had made B'Elanna feel so much better than what anyone could have told her would be best for her to do. B'Elanna remembered nodding tearfully as the Captain pulled her close later that day in sickbay, drawing strength from the woman before her, "I believe you Captain," she had whispered into the Captain's shoulder, unaware if her mentor had heard her, until she sighed, "Kathryn, B'Elanna. My name is Kathryn." And from that day onwards, the working relationship between Captain and Chief Engineer had never been more productive and the bond between Kathryn and B'Elanna never stronger.

The silence that followed as B'Elanna stood panting in the nursery's doorway, assured her that Kathryn was there. Only Kathryn could comfort Taya when the child was extremely upset and that only happened when Kathryn was extremely upset as well. B'Elanna was only slightly jealous that she and Miral didn't have that same bond. However, the sight that greeted her in the nursery was not one that she expected. A three-year-old Miral Paris had crawled out of bed and stood patting baby Taya through the gaps in the crib's bars. B'Elanna didn't have time to take in the adorable scene, though later she would recreate it for Kathryn, Chakotay and Tom; she rushed through the house, but Kathryn wasn't in the guest room, neither was she in its adjoining bathroom or in the master bedroom, though B'Elanna doubted she would be there in the first place.

Only as she passed the giant glass window on her way down the staircase, did she see a lone figure, in jeans and a beige sweatshirt lingering in the garden. The fiery red hair was unmistakable. Kathryn hadn't come upstairs to her daughter Taya, she had returned to the memory of Chakotay. Sure enough, B'Elanna watched as Kathryn paused in front of a great oak tree and ran her hand down its bark. B'Elanna blushed and remembered all too well what had happened at that Voyager reunion.

"_I see you've stolen my goddaughter away from the party and to the recluse of this great big tree," Kathryn graced B'Elanna with a lopsided grin as she snaked her arm around Chakotay's waist. Chakotay kissed her forehead as her hand moved from where it lay protectively over her belly to stroke Miral's face. "Oh, she's beautiful," Kathryn sighed as Chakotay passed the child over to Kathryn's waist, careful to support Miral as Kathryn held her, aware that in her condition, his wife shouldn't be carrying too much weight. _

"_I hope I'm not interrupting," Kathryn checked with B'Elanna who shook her head. Kathryn smiled at her again, except this time instead of her famous teasing grin; it was a full-fledged warm smile. "I've missed you 'Lanna, are you alright?" _

_Chakotay realised there was more to the question than met the eye. Although B'Elanna and Tom had been away on a 6 week mission the previous month and before that Kathryn had been called away to Trebus, the two always managed to keep in touch via sub-space. Each time, when Kathryn ended the communication, she seemed troubled, but he hadn't asked what the problem was. He had realised there were troubles B'Elanna reserved for him and others she reserved for Kathryn. There was a time when he would have found B'Elanna's lack of trust insulting, but these two women (and the one on the way) were his only family and those problems they trusted to each other, were the ties that bound. _

"_I am now, Kathryn." _

_Kathryn nodded. As much as she loved Owen Paris, his reluctance to admit to renegade Maquis B'Elanna into his family had been terribly insulting – not only to B'Elanna who felt left out and unappreciated, after all she had played a big part in turning Tom Paris (who Owen openly praised) around and in producing the granddaughter Owen terribly loved, but Kathryn took it the wrong way as well. After her first briefing with Admiral Paris, she remembered saying, "You'll be glad to have B'Elanna in your family Owen. Trust me, she's a wonderful woman and a brilliant engineer," knowing that skill won favor in Admiral Paris' book. That he didn't accept B'Elanna was a terrible blow to her, because it meant that he did not trust her judgment, something she had earned and worked hard to gain. A couple of words she'd had with Owen Paris later that day, proved beneficial for B'Elanna._

"_What's going on here, a little mini party – and I wasn't invited?" Tom Paris shook his hair out of his face as his head popped out behind the tree. "Champagne, my love?" He asked holding out a tray to B'Elanna. She smiled as Chakotay reached for the other flute. "And apple juice for the lady with a very precious burden," he noticed Miral, "Make that, two very precious burdens." _

_Kathryn smiled as she accepted the glass. "Thank you Tom."_

"_No, thank you, Captain." _

"_Flattery will get you nowhere, Mr. Paris." Kathryn reminded. She turned to look back to the happy celebrations. "Too family and contentment," she raised her glass, "I don't know when I've been happier since." _

"_Family and contentment," They echoed. _

"_I think we should commemorate this day." _

"_Hmm?" B'Elanna asked, ever wary of Tom's ideas and suggestions. _

"_It's an old fashioned tradition. You yourself said Captain, you've never been happier than at this moment, I vote we carve our names on this tree, that way no matter what happened, we'll always have some way to cling on to this memory. Because, I mean," he grinned sheepishly, "There will be tough roads ahead, but if we can remember these happy moments and remind ourselves that there will be more of these to come, than that very idea will help us through our time of darkness."_

"_Philosophical words for a cheeky lieutenant," Chakotay remarked, amused at how much Tom had changed. "But he's right."_

_Kathryn nodded, "I like it."_

_B'Elanna still wary of Tom, but convinced nothing could go wrong this time, nodded in agreement. _

"_I'll be right back," said Tom, returning moment later with an old-fashioned pen-knife. "Got it off Ayala – he always keeps it with him, for emergencies – have a go, old man, you're the expert." He handed it to Chakotay, who skillfully carved two hearts entwined into the old oak. One bore the initials K.J. and C. and the other B.T. and T.P. _

"_You left out the date, old man," said Tom reaching forward to add his mark to the tree. "Ouch!" _

_B'Elanna groaned as she saw the red vicious liquid ooze out from his finger. "You never just can keep out of trouble, can you?" She asked, ushering him into the house. "I'll take her Kathryn, she needs a change anyway."_

_And as she took a break from nagging Tom and turned back to look at the tree, she saw Kathryn gazing up into Chakotay's eyes, before taking a deep breath, as though inhaling his scent and tilting her head back as their lips met in a loving kiss. She blushed as she turned back to her accident-prone Tom, feeling uncomfortable that she had spied on such a tender moment. Still, it only convinced her, though she didn't need convincing that Kathryn and Chakotay were meant to be together, for mirrored in Chakotay's eyes was the look that Tom gave her when she kissed his finger after running the dermal regenerator over it. _

Kathryn leaned against the oak tree as she finished reliving the events of her wedding night to a shocked B'Elanna.

"Why that little Bor-"

"Calm down, B'Elanna – we don't want to go ruining her name with the rest of the crew."

"But her name deserves to be ruined."

"Can we really blame her, 'Lanna? She's only just coming to terms with her humanity."

"But still, even she should know that what she's doing is wrong? I mean are we really going to believe that Chakotay – I mean, _Chakotay_, is going to cheat on the woman of his dreams?"

Kathryn half smiled at her words, but continued starring across the garden into the house. "She feels betrayed. You felt betrayed when Chakotay told me about how you were dealing with the Maquis, didn't you?"

"But I would never have hurt you – or him… well, maybe physically, but never like that."

"Chakotay was the first man she had ever loved – as a human; to discover that he never loved her back was shocking. She trusted him, 'Lanna – with what? We'll never know, but when he dropped her at the first sign of interest from me – that there was hope for us – she not only felt insulted and upset, but angry and betrayed – and a combination of all those feelings, felt so strongly, with someone who was so inexperienced with them, led her to what she did."

"But she and Chakotay were over, even before you…"

"Yes, I know. But it made her realise that his relationship with her was never meant to be serious. It was just to while away his time until he could get me back."

B'Elanna never considered the implication of Kathryn's last words, or it would have led to startling revelations on what happened on Voyager, but she did ask the question she had never heard Kathryn fail to answer.

"What are you going to do?"

Kathryn paused for a moment, never realizing, until now how useful Tom's discovery earlier today could be. And in that moment, she realised, she had an answer.

"Get the doctor," She told B'Elanna after she relayed her plans.

"Captain, are you sure."

"No – but Kathryn is."

Tbc…


	6. Child's Play

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek, I'll be sure to return Kathryn, Chakotay and any other characters I borrow back to the correct shelves with no prior memories of this incident.

A/N: It's me – again! LoL… who else would it be… I've been thinking about this story for ages and I have so many ideas where it should go, just being able to sit down and write it makes me supremely happy – it's unfortunate that the only time I have is when I have to stay at home with the flu… so please excuse me if 'those' ends up as 'dose'. As ever, KayB…

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**Chapter Six – Child's Play**

Chakotay could have slammed his fist into the biobed if it had not been fractured in 10 different places. Instead he leaned against it heavily as he watched Doctor Martin repair Kamal's robotic eye. As Chakotay had pulled back his fist he had never imagined the other inmate's eye to be made of anything other than organic tissue, now he regretted his actions in more ways than one – he was supposed to be trying to get back to Kathryn, not weave himself a bigger criminal record.

He had to admit though the feeling that ran though his body before he registered any pain was one of pleasure – teach that p'Takh to call his wife names. Since the other inmates had discovered Chakotay's "soft spot" they had used it to their advantage. This was Chakotay's third visit to sickbay that week.

Doctor Martin moved over to tend to his first. "Honestly Chakotay," he spoke in hushed tones, "I've told you to control that temper – you're never going to get out of here otherwise."

Chakotay nodded, Richard Martin had proved to be one of his sympathizers and he was glad. Other prison Doctors might not be as kind as he, he had smuggled a dermal regenerator to Chakotay during his last visit, so Chakotay could take care of any 'minor wounds' himself instead of logging yet another visit to sickbay.

"Are you done?" Lieutenant Harrow's harsh voice punctuated sickbay's silence.

"There, I expect you to lay off using that fist for at least three weeks, not that I expect you to pay any attention, the last time I told you that you were back in sickbay the next day."

Chakotay nodded ignoring the doctor's wise-crack as he allowed Lt. Harrows to guide him to the exit. He turned to give Kamal, who was staring with his one good eye at the mess of sockets and wires before him, one last look. Chakotay shuddered; the scene reminded him eerily of Seven of Nine and the Borg.

He was too busy thinking of his last encounter with the ex-Borg that he did not realise until he stood before a foreign door that he was not being led back to his cell.

Harrows seemed to register his unspoken shock, or maybe it was just 'Fleet procedure, "Everyone – no matter how hardened a criminal has a right to a lawyer. Innocent until proven guilty they say," He scoffed as he placed his hand onto the scanner on a nearby panel. "Admitting ex-Commander Chakotay for meeting with his Brief."

Chakotay sighed as he entered the room alone. Finally solitude – and hopefully answers to the questions that plagued him every night. _What had he done to end up here? Would this lawyer know? If so, would she be on his side?_ Starfleet was famous for issuing biased prosecutors for cases they wanted to see fail in court.

It was minutes before the door opened once more to reveal a petite blonde woman, escorted by Lieutenant Harrows into the room. She thanked Harrows graciously as he closed the door behind them and smiled at Chakotay as she set her briefcase down on the table between them. Her official manner and stern face made him shudder – here, yet again was another reminder of what had led him here in the first place. The prison seemed to be full or Borg reminders today.

She proceeded to sit down opposite him and for a moment they looked at each other. She seemed to study him; he felt her gaze roam his face, taking in every little detail, before it fell on his pink fist – his skin still fresh where it had just been healed. She breathed in a sharp intake of breath before she began, "I'm Kelly Frasier, I'll be representing you in court on the 25th of November. Anything you say to be will be kept strictly confidential…" She paused and took another deep breath leaning forward as though about to reveal a conspiracy, but it was seconds before she continued, "I just want to say Commander, you have my every support in this case."

He leaned back in his chair, this time; it was his turn to study her. She was genuine, of that he was sure – but Kathryn always did say he had a nasty habit of trusting blondes. She didn't seem very commanding; it was difficult to believe someone so small could be a lawyer. Surely she must be intimidated by a judge, much less a whole jury - then again, his Kathryn was small-sized and she wasn't even intimidated by the Borg.

"We have some paper-work to fill out. You know, red tape and all that," she said gesturing to a stack of Padds she had just pulled out of her brown leather briefcase. As she organized them into separate piles, Chakotay decided he could see how someone like her would make a good lawyer. She was organized and firm and had obviously graduated top of her class, but she lacked a fire… a… he couldn't think of a word to describe it. She looked up at him for a moment, probably realizing herself under scrutiny and he attempted to search her eyes for what was missing, his father had always said a person's eyes were windows into their soul, but Kelly Frasier never met his gaze. He would wait until she looked him in the eye, he decided, then he would know what was missing, for now, he would trust her.

"These are the forms you have to fill," she said handing him one of her newly arranged stacks.

"No," he pushed her hand away. His abrupt command or maybe it was the brief contact between them caused her to look at him sharply, but she looked away quickly.

"Commander Chakotay," she addressed him formally, "I'm only here to help you," she attempted diplomacy, "You have got to cooperate." Quickly she seemed to change her mind, "I'm sorry," she stammered, "I didn't mean to be so harsh. I'm really sorry sir!"

He groaned inwardly, she was like a first year cadet, or maybe a pregnant wife. Chakotay remember having to be in touch with Kathryn's constant mood swing during her first trimester.

She seemed eager to cover up her blunder, "I shouldn't have addressed you that way, I mean I'm sure you have your reasons sir. I mean having survived the Delta Quadrant; you must know what you're doing. Where do we start, sir?"

So that was the problem. She held him on a pedestal. She, like most of the people who were on his side held him in awe, and believed that he could do no wrong. She didn't want him to have a bad impression of her. In some respects, that was good because it would mean she would fight her hardest (which didn't seem to be much) for his case, but he wasn't sure if _he_ wanted someone who wasn't comfortable around him to represent him in court.

"It's alright. We tend to have that effect on people." He would put up with it for now… and probably for the rest of the case he decided. If she wanted to do what was right by him, he could probably use her to his advantage.

"Are you sure you don't want to fill these in – they're vital to the case."

"I know, it's just I have a few questions."

"Oh," she said as realization dawned on her face, "Go ahead."

"Firstly, I want to know what I'm being charged with."

Her face fell, "You mean, you don't already know?" She asked.

He shook his head warily, "Do you?"

She seemed crestfallen, "No, but I will find out. I did try looking up information on the crime; I mean it is important to know what you're defending. First rule of becoming a lawyer, but I could find nothing. Naturally I have issued a court order demanding Starfleet release all information pertaining to the case, but so far… nothing. They have no right to withhold this information it is every much yours and it is theirs, but in the meantime, I was hoping you could give me something to work with."

Chakotay ran through his mind, how to tell her that he felt that this tied in with a certain ex-crewmember? There was no proof, no evidence, just intuition, but Kathryn had always told him that his intuition was always right – called it his Gift, but he was reluctant to share it with Kelly Frasier. Each time he had opened up to blondes it had only steered him further away from Kathryn and if he did it once more it would lose her and Taya for good. No, it was better to keep things he was unsure of to himself, he had learnt his lesson.

"I have no idea," He felt like he was lying – but he wasn't. _It could be important to the case,_ his conscience told him. _You don't know that… Kathryn's trust is just as important. _

"Well in that case –" She reached for the Padds.

"One more…"

She looked up, waiting for him to continue.

"I was just wondering what you could tell me about Kathryn and Taya… how are they? Do you have news? Pictures?"

Kelly Frasier smiled genuinely for the first time, "I thought you might ask that," she said reaching further into the case next to her. "Here," she said handing them over, "I haven't actually made contact with your wife, but these are pictures I got from news vids and press releases."

Chakotay leaned forward and spoke in hushed tones, "Do you think you could make contact with her? Send her a message?"

Kelly Frasier looked away, intimidated by the small distance between them, "Naturally, she is crucial to the case. I will be meeting with her soon." She paused, "Commander Chakotay I have been advised not to be a middle-person in the relationship between you and your wife by Starfleet Command, but if you require me to do so and promise that you will not refer that I am sending her your communications then I will do so. My first priority is to my client and second to Starfleet, though I have told them otherwise."

Chakotay assumed that was the go ahead he was looking for, "Will you tell her… tell Kathryn," Now he didn't know what he wanted to say, he had sat for nights thinking what he would tell her had he the chance to say only a few words, but now they all escaped him. It came to him suddenly, "Tell her I wish I could be by her side and that I know this must be more difficult for her than it is for me, but tell her things are still the same and as she did before, she still needs to…" He paused and searched for the right words, it was seconds before they came to him, "She still needs to believe in me." He relaxed, "and of course that I send my Taya a kiss."

Between his little speech, Kelly Frasier had dug into her briefcase yet again when he finished, she looked up and coughed, her eyes glistened a little and she smiled for the second time that day, this time it was sad, "She is very lucky to be married to a man like you. You probably already know this, but she is on your side."

Chakotay had indeed known this, but to receive conformation somehow made him feel that bit better.

"Your time is up," said Lt. Harrows reappearing at the door, "You have another visitation scheduled tomorrow at which you will be permitted to continue your discussion."

Chakotay nodded at Kelly Frasier as he was escorted out. "Thank you," he mouthed.

xxx

Kathryn Janeway sighed as she dumped her brown leather briefcase on the living room sofa of the Paris-Torres living room. Her first instinct was to move across the room to where B'Elanna sat playing on the floor opposite Miral with Taya in her arms.

"Hi," Kathryn said as she scooped her child into her arms. She placed a kiss on Taya's forehead as she leaned the child against her chest and nestled her head into the baby's small shoulder. She whispered something to the child and the baby gurgled. Only then did Kathryn address B'Elanna and Miral, "Hi you two," she ruffled the toddler's soft black hair.

B'Elanna who had been watching Kathryn the whole time ignored her greeting, "Are you sure you want to do this? Go back to work I mean? You're pretending to be on Starfleet's side, surely they don't trust you."

"I have to admit it's a bit rocky, I had a lot of difficulty trying to play it straight, all I did was read reports on ships status and summarize it for the computer logs, I felt like a first year cadet on work experience."

"Did you find out anything new?" Kathryn thought it was odd that she would ask that openly, then again if they were trying to feign normality they would be expected to talk about the trial.

Kathryn shook her head as she gently bounced Taya up and down, "But there has been a report field to release all Chakotay's information to his lawyer."

"That's good, you–" B'Elanna stopped herself abruptly, apparently B'Elanna had almost taken normality a little too far.

Kathryn gave her a look whilst Taya gurgled happily, "Did anything interesting happen here today?"

"Just the usual, like you said this morning – it was going to be an uneventful day. We missed having you around the house," she paused and then added as an afterthought, "Owen Paris stopped by to see Miral though, he said to say hello to you."

"How very thoughtful of him," Kathryn relaxed into an arm-chair by the fire-place. "What do you say the three of us go out for dinner tonight, it'll be good to get away from the house?"

"Okay, we'll get Harry and Tuvok to join us, make an outing out of it, we haven't seen them in a while."

Kathryn nodded, "I'll just get changed then." She should have known her going back to work would arouse surprise in Starfleet, who were lucky to have Admiral Owen Paris who had a relationship with Kathryn's closest friends.

She sighed as Taya yanked on a strand of her loose hair, playing pretend was a lot more difficult now than it had been when she was five.

To Be Continued…


	7. These Secrets We Share

Disclaimer: All Trek Characters belong to Paramount – I unfortunately do not own any of them, but if I did – I'd definitely have better sense of what to do with them.

A/N: Hey – It's taken me ages, I know… but I'm back and ready to roll… and I've actually managed to sort my life out – so look out for me to update again soon…

Believe in Me

These Secrets We Share

It was the sound of Taya's crying which first woke Kathryn, though the communications terminal Tom had installed in her room had been beeping for far longer. She groaned, her first thoughts were to rush to the next room, but her Starfleet training rivalled her maternal instincts, especially since these calls had been frequent these last few days. Mentally, she kicked herself for having slept through one for so long – she would have less time than she usually did to make the necessary changes.

A quick check confirmed that the source matched the calls which had frequently interrupted her troubled sleep and through practise it only took her a few second to run the Doctor's modified pre-programmed dermal regenerator (his latest pride and joy) over her face and hair, hoping that the caller would not notice the difference in her height and the odd slightly mismatched complexion of her neck and face. Just to be sure, she tightened her silky peach robe tighter around her neck to hide her negligee, and as she did that she realised her apparel would definitely give her away.

Usually, her slightly-devious planning and, as much as she hated to admit it, Starfleet training allowed her to plan ahead, certainly since she first started receiving mid-night calls, she had made a point to clear the area around the console and the background so an observant caller would not pick up the little clues that gave Kathryn Janeway's room character. In fact, this time, she wanted to convey another sense of character – with two swift movements she removed a picture of Kelly Frasier from a drawer and placed it on a chest of drawers. She gave her night gown a last look – tonight she had particularly missed Chakotay, missed the way his soft whispering and soothing words had more power to relax her than any other holodeck programme, missed his dimpled smile and hearty laugh, but most of all, she missed his touch, on the day, three years ago when she had first admitted she loved him…

_Kathryn gave the porter a grateful smile as she handed him her coat. The foyer was now empty, understandably so, the dinner was meant to start a seven, but life as a Starfleet Admiral wasn't easy – and you would have thought Starfleet, aware her attendance was required at today's formal would have easer her work load, if only for a day. _

_He opened the large oak doors that that led down a corridor to another set of matching doors, the only difference, these bore the Starfleet logo. "Thank you," she said, as he closed the door behind her… the corridor was seemingly long and at the opposite end stood another well dressed bellboy. _

_Kathryn stole a glance at her reflection in the long mirror that lined the wall of the corridor. She smiled at herself, practising the award-winning smile she knew she would have to put on when they teased her about being late… Voyager's crew would be there as well… and so would he… unless he'd decided not to attend as he had all the celebratory functions in the last three months since Voyager's return. Somehow she knew he'd be there tonight, the anniversary since they'd been stranded on New Earth together. _

_On Voyager, they'd never spoken of New Earth, other than for a few private jokes about the monkey, but even those brought back painful memories and the primate was hardly mentioned, but somehow, every year on that day, be there Klingon, Hirogen or Borg, they'd have dinner together - oh of course, they had dinner with each other everyday, but those dinners were different, usually layered with silence despite their think coats of forced laughter – it was different because it was the day they both remembered… because they _knew.

If Kathryn looked back now, what happened at that function was inevitable and truth be told, she didn't regret it – what she did regret was that Seven had to get hurt in the process… if only there had been another way… but Kathryn knew just as they had both known during those 'silent' dinners, that if things hadn't turned out the way they did, she'd have lost them forever… him and Taya.

_Kathryn practised her smile on the gracious porter as well before stepping into the room. To her shock and secret delight, all eyes didn't train on her – in fact they weren't even at their tables although according to the schedule they were supposed to be on their second course. _

_Kathryn scanned the room and only when she found the reason for the delay did she regret her feeling of bliss – this was worse than any teasing or extra attention she could possibly receive. In the far corner of the room, most of Voyager's crew surrounded two figures. Had Kathryn been on the same level as the rest of the attendees, she would not have been able to make out the centre of attention, but to get to the main hall, you had to walk down a set of stairs and from where she stood, Kathryn had a marvellous view point of a blushing Seven of Nine, who at the end of her right hand, which was draped through Chakotay's wore a stunning, glittering diamond ring. _

_Kathryn gripped the railings and had she not been impaired by the momentary shock would have been out of that room in an instant. Instead, the delay caused an ever observant Tom Paris to call out her name in cheery greeting – instantaneously the lively chatter in the room died down, all eyes turned to her and back to Chakotay. She knew they knew – and she knew they all wept for her. Well, she didn't want – didn't need their sympathy! With five elegant strides, she made her way down the short flight of marble stairs, aware that suddenly, her dress felt to tight, the diamond necklace at her throat choked her and even her earrings seemed to heavy. _

_"Chakotay, Seven…" She smiled, aware of a sudden clenching feeling at her stomach. One hand settled there to calm her nerves, as she met Seven's gaze – oblivious to the tension around her, looking innocent and unawares… Kathryn realised that as much as she had blamed the ex-Borg over the past 4 months, her blond protégée had done nothing wrong – perhaps it was Kathryn who had trained her too well, moulded her to find an eligible guy. _

_"Congratulations," she said, still to Seven. _

_"Thank you Admiral, you too…"_

_Kathryn raised an eyebrow._

_"On your promotion," clarified Seven. "We have been looking forward to sharing the news of our engagement with you… I knew you would be pleased, after all it is you who trained me in humanity…"_

_Kathryn heard a gasp in the audience… crew… she corrected herself, it was either an insulted Doctor, who felt that it was he who had given Seven the necessary guidance or Paris who had probably been watching too many 21st century soap operas in his free time. _

_"…Chakotay and I, were saying…"_

_It was only then that Kathryn realised that Seven was still talking. She studied the Borg, sure the girl was radiant, much like a young school-girl and less like a Borg severed from her collective. _

_"Right, Chakotay?" Finished Seven. _

_"Right," Chakotay spoke for the first time since she had last seen him at the debriefings. His harsh, mellow voice stirred something within her and as much as she willed herself not to look at him, shining blue eyes met dark brown ones. _

_Kathryn expected the instantaneous shiver to course down her spine, as it usually did when they shared their secret communications, but nothing came. Instead of the usual messages they used to send each other, she saw nothing but her reflection, and this bothered her more that she thought it would, her free hand pressed closer to her stomach. She tried to look away, but couldn't… her reflection grew stronger – if anyone thought it was a loss of that special connection they shared, they were wrong – this was more powerful that anything else… she felt as though they were the only ones in the room – he only had eyes for her. _

_Nonsense! Another part of her brain shouted – yelled! He's engaged for crying out loud! And that did it, although her throat was dry, she coughed out a dry "Congrats," and allowed B'Elanna to lead her away. _

_That seemed to break up the rest of the crowd and they all made their way to their respective pre-assigned tables. B'Elanna whispered to her that the senior staff were all assigned to the head table… but Kathryn knew what she really meant. _

_Dinner was alright – well even that was an over statement, but nothing dire happened. Tom instinctively knew – or perhaps B'Elanna had ordered him to keep Seven busy and B'Elanna regaled Chakotay with old memories of their time as a Maquis, even though each word reminded her of the friends she had lost. Kathryn was left with an uncomfortable Harry Kim and a sullen Doctor. _

_She was glad when the tables were moved away and couples moved across the floor to dance. Tom and B'Elanna, Ayala and one of the Delaney Sisters, Harry and Libby – she was even glad Chakotay and Seven were dancing, so she could stay away from them. Seven hadn't yet mastered the close; slow-dancing that the other couples shared, so at least she was spared the view of her arms draped over his neck with him whispered sweet nothings into her ear as Tom was B'Elanna._

_"May I have this dance?" Tom stood in front of her, offering his hand and B'Elanna offered her consent as Kathryn checked with her. _

_"I don't know…"_

_"Oh, come on Kathryn you're twice the woman she will ever be – and you look stunning, I want to show you off – let him know what his missing." _

_"I…"_

_"Kathryn…" B'Elanna chimed in._

_"Oh, alright!" She stood, but flashed 'Lanna a big smile to show that her anger her tone betrayed was only feigned. "You'd better watch out, or you might never get him back." _

_"Trust me, you can keep him!" _

_Tom pretended to look insulted as he and Kathryn swirled away to a rather upbeat number which quickly evolved into tango. "_

_"I recall Captain; you took dancing lessons as a kid, so I figured this wouldn't be to trying." _

_"You arranged this?"_

_"Well, you are wearing a red dress – I thought it would fit," He said as he presented her with a rose from his jacket pocket… she laughed as he dipped her. _

_Kathryn was aware that the crowd was clearing of the dance floor, no one really liked to tango and she knew that was Tom's idea – to make her the centre of attention. _

_"I know what you're doing," she said suddenly. _

_"And it's worked," he said, as Kathryn felt someone tap her shoulder. Instantly Tom had let go of her and she swirled to face Chakotay. _

_"May I cut it?" His dark voice sent shivers down her spine – and she was sure he felt it because he hadn't bothered to wait for an answer before his arms we around her. _

_Abruptly, even though Kathryn knew there were another two sections to go to the tango, it evolved into yet another slow dance. She tried to hide a snigger, but Chakotay caught it. _

_"Dancing with me is that funny, huh?" _

_"Oh, Chakotay," she said as her palm moved to rest on his chest, "It's just Tom and his usual pla…" She stopped, she realised, there wasn't any need for Tom's match-making anymore. _

_"I know Kathryn." _

_They danced together in silence. As much as Kathryn wanted to be angry with him, she couldn't – he had that effect on her, she felt herself relax in his arms. _

_"Let's go outside and talk." It was his voice which echoed her own thoughts. _

_They made their way to one of the doors which lined the hall, out onto a lovely Victorian veranda, overlooking the Starfleet HQ gardens. _

_Kathryn leant against the railing as they looked at the lights which shown from some of the offices, where Kathryn knew sat some Admirals and Captains as she usually would be doing. _

_She turned to look at Chakotay who seemed miles away, his stunning chiselled features, unchanged and her heart caught in her throat. She didn't want to loose him… but could she still make amends? _

_They seemed to be thinking the same thing, for they both spoke as one, "Do you know what…" Kathryn stopped, but Chakotay pressed on, "day today is?"_

_Kathryn looked away, "I thought you'd forgotten." Oh, she knew he hadn't… he never would. How? Why? Why did she know that he knew? _

_"What day is it Kathryn?" He asked. "Say it… I know you remember, I know you always have… I just want to know if… why you want to forget it… why you want to forget you love me… because I know you do, tell me and I'll leave you alone – I promise." _

_"But I don't want to forget!" The words left her mouth before she even thought them. _

_"I've always known you loved me Kathryn and I know you know that I do too."_

_"Then why did you…" Kathryn nodded towards the room, which Seven occupied. _

_"Because I wanted to release you, if you thought I was happy with someone else, maybe it would be easier for you to forget, does that make sense?"_

_She nodded. Chakotay thought she couldn't face her love – that was partly true, what with Justin and Mark, that the love she felt for him, was something she had no control over and that she felt it, but didn't really want to follow her heart – but as she tried to make sense of Chakotay's words, she began to get confused. _

_"Well now you know," She said as her hands, which she hadn't realised ere grasping Chakotay's elbows fell to her side. "And you can be at peace… with Seven." _

_"Don't you understand Kathryn – I don't want Seven!" _

_"But…"_

_"I don't feel what I feel with Seven – she was the only one who showed any interest for a while and even now that we're back on Earth I see her watching other men, but it's only loyalty that keeps her by my side." _

_"But you proposed… you didn't have to." _

_"I didn't, she did – I think she needed to something to remind herself of that loyalty."_

_"You said yes." Although they were arguing, Kathryn's hands were once more in Chakotay's. _

_"Because I thought you didn't want me."_

_"But I do want you!" Kathryn paused… "I'm repeating myself, aren't I?" _

_Chakotay nodded. "There's only one thing I think we can do to remedy that."_

_"Oh, is that so?" asked Kathryn, but thoughts of anything else drifted away as Chakotay's lips captured hers and his arms move gently down her back – already Kathryn felt more relaxed than she had in days._

_She hated to break the kiss, but there was still one last thing she needed to know, "What now? We can't just break her heart Chakotay."_

_But the answer to that question filled the balcony, "Well, _her _heart has just been broken."_

_Chakotay ran after the person, "Seven wait!" _

_Kathryn turned back to the garden, she felt guilty… and yet so ecstatic, but one question kept nagging at her mind – what would happen now?_

Chakotay had never managed to find Seven that evening and had returned to Kathryn's side, though both acted as strangers throughout the rest of the night, causing Tom to think up more ways of how to break up Chakotay's engagement to Seven.

However, news filtered to Chakotay through the Doctor that Seven wanted to break up with him and the rest of the crew guessed that something must have happened that night Seven disappeared.

Kathryn and Chakotay however, tried to put the past behind them… and until their honeymoon had succeeded.

Another beep of her console automatically sent her hand to the "receive" button.

"Commander Chakotay," Kelly Frasier addressed the inmate. "I didn't think you would be able to make two subterfuge calls in a week."

Chakotay studied his solicitor for a second – he heard a muffled sound in the background, how he had not noticed before, was beyond him, "Kathryn, you'd better tend to that baby now, or else…"

A/N: Well, lemme know – my writing skills are slightly rusty… but I personally can't wait to find out what happens next ( no AngelRider89, I DO know where this story is going… loosely… roughly… erm, coughs yeah… )

Pls review (I know we writers shouldn't really care about these review thingys, but when I do get them it makes me over the moon and I can help telling the world about how many reviews I've got – LoL) It's that little button on the bottom left.


	8. Communications

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek… pity though.

A/N: Hah! How quick was that, eh? Anyway I was just rereading the last chapters… for continuity errors (just in case I don't get mixed up with all the different fics that I'm reading/writing) and I realised there are so many mistakes I've never noticed with previous rereads – I really ought to start doing something about them… or at least rereading them v. v. v. slowly – LoL… Anyway, hope you like this one – keep the comments coming… ty.

**Believe in Me**

…**Communication…**

"How?" Kathryn seemed oblivious to Chakotay's instructions, immediately hundreds of thoughts bombarded her, her relief that she no longer had to be careful around him, as though she could once more openly love him, but panic as well, she had concealed her identity not just to fool Starfleet, by revealing herself to him, she could place him in danger as well.

"Who's in that room with you, Chakotay?" Her voice was raised, surely even Chakotay knew the repercussions if either one of them were found out.

In the next room, Taya's rose to the next level.

"Get the baby, Kathryn," Chakotay's voice was equally gruff, though not with anger, but with emotion.

Without a word, Kathryn moved to the nursery, Taya immediately seemed to still as she entered the room. As Kathryn picked her up, she felt instant regret at having left her child for so long. She cradled Taya closely to her and the baby voice her need by burying her head in her mother's chest.

She ran the dermal regenerator over her face one more quickly; she wanted Chakotay's first live view of her daughter to be in her arms, not in the arms of a stranger.

As Kathryn sat back down at the console, she heard Chakotay's sharp intake of breath. He leaned forward, as though attempting to reach through the screen and instinctively Kathryn's free arm reached out to touch his face. At her gesture, he laid her hand over hers, attempting to mimic the gesture they had made as a promise in New Earth.

"Oh, Chakotay…" Kathryn's voice broke with a sob and Chakotay noticed the contrast between confident Kelly Frasier and the slouched mother who was Kathryn Janeway. Kelly Frasier was as much a façade as the Captain's Mask. "When will we be a family again?" She asked. Once more, the difference between solicitor and mother was evident, for weeks now, Miss. K Frasier had promised a dejected Chakotay, that when Starfleet released Chakotay's files and evidence, there would be more hope and that things would work out, yet now it was she who sought comfort.

He didn't answer – he couldn't. For years he had dreamed that having a family with the woman before him was impossible, yet now things hadn't changed, although there they were before him – reunited…. Almost.

Taya drew away from Kathryn and he thought that the sight before him was more picturesque than the two moons rising over Dorvan Prime and as, if not more priceless than the Mona Lisa itself.

Kathryn adjusted her nighty as she lifted the child to face the screen. Taya gurgled, she recognized the man from the pictures her mother often showed her. "Say hello to Daddy."

Chakotay registered the now grinning child. Although her eyes were a piercing blue and her hair a vivid red, Taya's tanned skin and prominent facial features were very much like his own – she was exactly what he imagined their children would look like, those lonely nights on Voyager, a merging of fiery Kathryn Janeway and contrary Chakotay.

"She's beautiful, Kathryn."

Kathryn looked up at Chakotay, and if it hadn't been evident before, it was now – Kathryn Janeway had evolved from mother of the crew and ship, to a proper nurturer with maternal instinct. If she had looked upon the Voyagers with pride, the look she gave Chakotay at his remark rivalled any other achievement she had praised before. "She is, isn't she? B'Elanna says she looked just like you… with slight reminders that I am her mother. I think her hair looks even better on her than it does on me – though it will fade a little." She looked up at Chakotay, worried that he might think she was rambling, but he seemed captivated by her small comment.

"And oh, Chakotay, you should see her, she's already attempting to pilot the small Delta Flyer Tom gave her last week… well we'd lost the first one he gave her… and what's the most amazing thing is – you can tell her things, complex things and I know she doesn't understand, but she just sits there, so attentive that you believe she must known the secrets of the world. And do you know what the best part is, Chakotay – she's dependant on me – on you and me… if we never were a family before Chakotay, this is it – our own little world, with just the three of us."

Chakotay felt his eyes water. It would be months, if not years before he could hold Taya and yet, he couldn't help sharing in Kathryn's pride and happiness.

"Oh, Chakotay – I'm so sorry."

"No Kathryn – you need to tell me, it's the only way I can ever know," and yet he couldn't help feeling a pang of jealousy… did he really deserve to be in prison?

Taya stifled a yawn and buried her face in her mother's neck before giving a small cry. Kathryn bounced her gently, still watching the emotion's flicker across Chakotay's face – anger, love, jealousy, hatred, joy… loss, understanding and there it was – hope.

She knew she had to draw his mind away from Taya… "How did you find out."

It seemed to have worked, something akin to humour flickered across Chakotay's face. "Kelly Frasier, Kathryn you couldn't have made it more obvious."

Kathryn laughed softly, so as not to awake the sleeping infant. Admittedly, she had intended to keep it a secret from him, but had also felt that giving him a few clues wouldn't go amiss either… just in case.

"You couldn't have figured it out just from that," she said, still chuckling, "I mean just because they were similar to Kellin and Riley Frasier's names, doesn't mean it couldn't have been a coincidence – what was it, Chakotay?"

Chakotay blushed, "Well, firstly – well and finally… it was the briefcase and the ring."

"What ring?" Kathryn was only too aware; Chakotay had accompanied her to her mother's house when Gretchen had presented Kathryn with her father's briefcase as a post-promotion/pre-engagement present, though Kathryn hadn't known about the engagement until later that night.

"Your wedding ring, Kathryn – you never took it off."

Kathryn looked aghast, "You've got to be kidding Chakotay. Anyone could identify me through that ring? When did I wear it?"

"Only once… when you came to visit yesterday."

Kathryn leaned back in her chair. Thank goodness! The guards had waved her through the preliminary scans yesterday as they had been expecting a high ranking dangerous criminal. Though how dangerous, Kathryn hardly knew, since Chakotay had been given the same rank.

"Chakotay – no one can know…"

"I know, Kathryn."

"I'm going to fight to get you out Chakotay. Taya needs her father."

Chakotay gave her a sideways grin, "And Kathryn needs her husband."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow, "Don't get to presumptuous. Who says I'll take you back – I read somewhere, you were having an affair with one of the inmates."

"Kathryn…" Chakotay warned. His voice dropped a couple of tones into seriousness, "I can see the stress Kathryn… lack of sleep… have you been eating?"

"I have, B'Elanna and Tom have been taking good care of me, don't you worry."

"Tom? 'Lanna?"

"I'm living here, with them, Chakotay."

"But the number you gave me… I thought I was establishing a connection with a Starfleet apartment."

"Tuvok's having the signal rerouted… he changes the frequencies daily – to be safe. I'm only tired, because of this little one here…"

"I should be there to help…" Chakotay's gaze drew back to a sleeping Taya. "She's so small Kathryn… are you sure you're safe."

"I am… and you are helping Chakotay. I believe you Chakotay… I'm getting you out of there," and suddenly there was the mischievous gleam in her eye, "Perhaps Kelly Frasier can arrange a little visit. I know you're not allowed visitors Chakotay, but between us – one arrogant solicitor and one high-powered, slightly stubborn, grumpy Admiral – we might be able to pull something off. God only knows, I've been dying to lay one on you for ages… I can't remember how I exercised so much self-control on Voyager."

"That's because you didn't know what you were missing out on."

Kathryn smiled… and then it occurred to her, "Do you know what day it is?"

"I thought you'd forgotten," Chakotay echoed her words from long ago.

"And here I thought you knew I could never forget," she teased lightly. "We've never missed an anniversary, you and I… be there Borg or Hirogen, warp core breeches… or plain old arguments."

"Oh, don't belittle yourself Kathryn; those plain old arguments were the highlight of the trip."

"I love you, Chako…" an incoming beep interrupted her, "Hold on a second, I'm getting an incoming message."

Chakotay's screen flickered for a while before it faded to a revolving Starfleet insignia, with the words 'transmission paused' running across the screen. If Kathryn didn't hurry he'd have to go soon – he only had so much time before the warden would pick up the transmission. He gave Dr. Martin a wary look, the Doctor held up five fingers to signal how many minutes he had left.

"Hurry, Kathryn," he whispered silently.

We must be physic, he thought as her face loaded on the screen, "Chakotay," she said – there was a change of tone in her voice, an underlying urgency and secret excitement, "Chakotay, they've released the evidence…"

To be continued….

dum dum de dum


	9. Connotations

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek, 'tis a pity.

A/N: Okay, although this Chapter answers some questions, it raises more doesn't it… well you'll find out soon… let me know if you think anything specific needs answering. I know it's kind of short… but bear with me, we are going somewhere (hopefully, it's where _no one else has gone before)_

**Believe in Me**

**...Hidden Truth…. **

The padd dropped from Kathryn's hands and landed with a loud clatter on the table. Miral, who sat watching her usually calm Aunty, jolted and turned to burry her face in her mother's hair. As B'Elanna carefully stroked Miral's dark hair she watched a series of emotions flicker across Kathryn's face… disbelief, anger, hatred… Personally, B'Elanna couldn't imagine what Chakotay had done which was so horrid, but she knew Kathryn would tell her in her own time. Either that, or B'Elanna would snatch that fallen Padd from the table and read it herself.

1… 2…. She counted in her mind, giving Kathryn 5 seconds to spill the beans …4… 4 ¼ … 4 ½ … 4 ¾….5. B'Elanna grabbed the padd of the desk. Most of it was the basic Starfleet preliminary warning of what the charges were, court dates and that sort of thing, the evidence would be on the other Padds, but she knew from experience with Maquis rebels who had been caught that the last sentence would hold the key information.

She held the scroll key down until it stopped at the bottom on the Padd…

**LET IT HEREBY BE STATED IN SUMMARY FOR THE COURT, THAT CAPTAIN CHAKOTAY, FORMERLY OF THE UNITED FEDERATION HAS HEREBY BEEN CHARGED WITH MURDER OF THE FORMER BORG DRONE, ANNIKA HANSEN alias SEVEN OF NINE.**

Without a word, B'Elanna handed the Padd to Tom, before lifting Miral and moving to sit next to Kathryn. The Admiral's hands were shaking; she stared into a distance as though lost in some far off thought. Slowly, B'Elanna snaked her arms around the former Captain… Miral sensing her aunt's sadness mimicked her Mum's actions. That was all it took to wrench a loud sob from Kathryn.

"You don't believe it, do you Captain?" Unconsciously, B'Elanna had reverted to using her mentor's rank. Although she didn't know it, Kathryn drew her strength from the title.

Her shoulder's straightened, arms squared, "You know I don't!" She snapped. "It's just – _her – _again."

B'Elanna raised her eyebrow, six months ago, she might have been upset over the death of the borg drone, but today she felt nothing.

"We don't even know if it's true – I mean what happened – for all we know she could be in hiding somewhere. We should look at the rest of the evidence."

"Yes… we should," Kathryn moved to the next Padd in the stack.

B'Elanna's hand reached out to stop her, "When I said we, I meant me and Tom… you go back to bed now – you've had enough of a shock."

"Oh no," Kathryn was quick no protest, "I can't go back to sleep now."

"Does Chakotay know?"

Kathryn shook her head, "He had to go, I didn't have time to let him know… he couldn't know." But a little voice spoke when she knew they were all thinking, _not unless he actually did it. _

_...xxx..._

Chakotay knew he had committed many crimes in his lifetime. He had murdered evil Cardassians, stole from the rich to give to the poor, but each time he had done it out of necessity.

He hadn't had time to find out what he was charged with, but he knew somewhere, right now, Tom, B'Elanna and Kathryn were looking over the data… wondering if he really had done what Starfleet and Mrs. Hansen had accused him of doing… oh yes, he didn't need the evidence back to tell him what he had done.

It had happened quickly, out of necessity, he often reminded himself… but no, he had done it out of anger, he knew.

Seven's claims that night she had stumbled upon Kathryn and Chakotay were not unfounded… well… Chakotay reminded himself, he had been telling the truth when he'd told Kathryn he hadn't cheated on her, but if Kathryn had asked if Chakotay had seen the borg drone in the months prior to their wedding, Chakotay knew he would have lied – anything to erase the doubt from Kathryn's mind.

He knew that an outsider, wouldn't understand the complex position he was in, even Kathryn wouldn't… he decided it would be best to start explaining from the beginning… he decided it would be best to prepare the explanation Kathryn would be waiting for at Kelly Frasier's next briefing – this time, he would tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth… Chakotay may have watched Annika Hansen die, of that he had been guilty, but he definitely wasn't a murderer.

"It started that night… on the balcony when I ran after Seven, oh I didn't find her… but it started the day you admitted you loved me… it burnt something in Seven… I don't know, anger, jealousy? Probably betrayal, I told you loyalty was important to her, she did learn it from you… and I guess she wanted revenge. She's watched us exact revenge on the Borg, so I suppose she thought it was only natural."

"Anyway, I hadn't heard from her, pretty much until our engagement. You know that I heard that she called off the engagement through the Doctor. Anyway… a few weeks later she met me outside Starfleet HQ and said we needed to sort things out. I agreed willingly, we were both worried about her and I thought she'd have time to be calm over this."

"She led me to a quiet alleyway, claiming there was a quaint little café further along… I… I… foolishly agreed to go along… and it was there that she… she… assaulted me. Said how you could never give me what I hoped for and wouldn't I like one last night of romance…"

Chakotay paused imagining Kathryn's reaction…

"I know, it wasn't like her Kathryn, but she was hurt – she was just coming to terms with her humanity… I… NO, of course I didn't sleep with her. I told you that Kathryn, I told you that on our wedding night, after we went on that vision quest… and she came into our bedroom… I'd never lie to you Kathryn… what she said was a lie, I never slept with her… but I did follow her, I didn't want to tell you because I knew you wouldn't believe me."

_That still doesn't explain why it says you murdered her Chakotay… _Already, he could imagine her cold, hard steely voice. When Chakotay saw her next, she wouldn't reveal the tiredness she rarely revealed to anyone… and that was what Chakotay was afraid of. He would have admitted it all to her… admitted everything, except he knew from experience that one small move would send her scurrying away – the slightest mistake… the slightest hint that he would do everything to jepordize the relationship she had forced herself to go against her nature and place so much trust in.

He took a deep breath and continued, "I didn't see her again until much later… after we were married… before Taya was born. Again she came to my office at HQ, but this time… I was aware, I turned her down. It was fine… I walked off… I thought it would be okay… but once I was safely out of HQ, I felt that familiar tingle of the transporters… I found myself in an abandoned room… Seven of Nine…" Chakotay shook his head, "Annika in front of me… she said that she regretting being severed from the collective… regretted joining our crew… regretted falling in love with me…. I was wrong Kathryn, she never loved any other men… she wanted me… and I let her down," Chakotay hung his head. "But _I _wanted you."

_Get to the point, Chakotay. _

"She committed suicide Kathryn, in front of my eyes. I watched as she ripped the cortical node from her forehead," Chakotay looked away, memories of the day flooding his mind… the mess, the blood… the body… Spirits, had their love caused so much pain?

"As she was dying, she looked up at me… repeating her mantra, resistance is futile." Chakotay didn't know how he was managed coherent sentences, but he knew if he stopped he would break down. "But then… she… she," He took a deep breath, "She began to panic, she didn't want to die Kathryn… she was only a young thing… she asked me to get help… she said she'd release me if I got help."

"I told her to deactivate the force-field and she did… she let me go… and I looked at her lying there and thought… I don't know what I thought, I thought, well, what the heck, lets let her die – she'd leave us alone forever… and then, I thought better of it – I called the Doctor…. But it was too late. He was shocked, accused me of murdering her… I thought it was best to erase his memory files… that were it, I came home… I didn't say anything couldn't live with it… but things grew back to normal, I forgot about it….

xxx

… I wanted to get on with my life, so I could love you… love Taya. You know I wouldn't kill anyone… Kathryn?... Kathryn, you believe me, don't you?"

Kathryn looked up from where her eyes had been focused on the hard floor. She brushed her blonde hair behind a ear. When she finally spoke, her voice was a hard and cold as steel, but it was nothing like the Captain's voice either, it was stronger, more powerful, more sinister, somehow.

"I don't know Chakotay; it all seems a little far-fetched to me."

Tbc….


	10. Fatal Attraction

Disclaimer: Paramount owns all things Trek… pity though.

A/N: Okay, I'm back on my writing mission. No more exams, no more school, no more uniforms… for three WHOLE months… fanfic writing galore. This story will soon be finished and then on to the next… remember keep those reviews coming… KayB

**Believe in Me**

…**Fatal Attraction…**

B'Elanna looked up from the tricorder to stare at Kathryn. "You were definitely right when you said it was all 'a little too far-fetched'", she agreed, handing the device back to Kathryn.

"I still don't believe it," whispered Harry, "The Commander would never have murdered Seven – I just don't believe it."

Kathryn paused to consider Harry's words, _Believe in Me, _Chakotay had said, and yet he head lied and admitted it that day. If anything she was confused. She had so very much believed Chakotay's innocence; he had looked at her in that way that was reserved for only the two of them as the police led him away, yet his story was so unreasonable, implausible that she was beginning to think that she had never known him.

"Actually Mr. Kim," Tuvok picked up the handy device that Kathryn/Kelly Frasier had used to record Chakotay's confession, "Commander Chakotay has a history of murder, he has previously murdered several Cardassians warlords and citizens."

"But that was only because they'd killed his family on Dorvan Prime – he wanted revenge."

"That statement is enough to back up my hypothesis. Imagine, if The Commander killed to avenge his family, what would he do to protect his new one?"

"I don't th-"

"ENOUGH!" Said Kathryn, her chair scraping loudly against the tiled surface of the Paris-Torres residence. She paced over to the sink and sighed before turning to face the remaining and free members of her senior staff.

"Actually Captain," All eyes turned back to Tuvok – only he would have been brave enough to address the Captain when she was in this state. "I had not yet finished my assessment of the situation, but I would first like to check with Mr. Paris if he has removed the censors in this room."

"There's not a single censor in this house that hasn't been diverted to either static or a pre-recorded conversation."

"Very well then, I will proceed. Aside from the fact that Commander Chakotay has shown a history of violent intentions, I also believe" – Kathryn shuddered, there was that word again, "that the Commander in all his years of Starfleet training and service has given him a sense of logic to rival that of any Vulcan, thus concluding, as Mr. Paris would put it, that he would have the brains to come up with a more plausible explanation."

"What are you saying?" Asked B'Elanna, "That Chakotay's not as efficient at lying as he used to be?"

"Quite the contrary Lieutenant, I believe that Commander Chakotay is not lying… he believes his story is the truth"

"As much as I value your council Tuvok, in this case your logic is as much idle speculation as a tabloid newspaper." Kathryn sharp tone cut through the air of relief that had spread about the room.

"On the contrary Captain," said the stoic Vulcan, "I do not usually make assessments without facts to back that up, which in this case are the readings taken by your own tricorder. We were all too taken with his confession that we did not analyse the other readings taken by this device."

_In other words he's saying I was the first to find my husband guilty, _Kathryn swore there were times she could strangle the Vulcan… and yet at the same time, she was hoping he was getting somewhere… anything to give her the love of her life back again.

"This device indicated two life forms in the room… one male on female. Both bodies are at normal room temperature, indicating that the Commander could not have been lying as often that shows up with elevated body temperature. However, in the event that the Commander can effectively control his boy temperature, the fact that there is a chip embedded in the back of the Commander's skull, not marked with a Starfleet identification code would some how insinuated that his memories are not being tempered with, as I am sure the Doctor can identify that he did not have it in his skull prior to him leaving Voyager."

All eyes focused on the Doctor, who paused for a moment – assessing his previous date files. "He's right – Chakotay never had any chip in the base of his skull. I would have noticed if he did."

"Let me see that," Kathryn snapped, taking three strides across the room and grabbing the tricorder out of the Vulcan's strong grasp. "Oh…" She said as she sank down into the chair, "He's innocent…"

"Indeed Captain, that would appear to be the case, though I suggest that as a priority we need to find out what that chip is and why it is in the commander's skull."

…_**xxx…xxx…xxx…xxx…xxx**_

"Kathryn?" B'Elanna joined her mentor on the porch of her house, as the older woman sat on a rocking chair nursing her baby daughter.

"'Lanna," Kathryn greeted, trying to detach her daughter.

"Oh, don't worry," B'Elanna laughed, "Been there, done that."

Kathryn smiled as Taya settled down again. For a moment both women sat in silence, looking out into the Paris-Torres back garden, before Kathryn spoke.

"I still loved him…"

"Kathryn?"

"When I thought he had killed Sev… Annika, I still loved him. How could I do that, how could I still love someone who had murdered… killed… thought of killing."

"You knew he killed before, but you still loved him anyway."

"That was different – that was justice… justice that higher authority wouldn't deal with, so he had to take it into his own hands… but his story… when he told me… I thought _God, what has he done? _There were other ways to deal with Seven, how many times I could have killed to get what I wanted on Voyager… I thought he knew… he understood better than anyone else what I was going through, I was so disappointed, but I loved him despite that and that was why I was so angry. Angry with myself!"

"It's okay Kathryn, it just showed that despite what you thought he was admitting, somewhere the non-scientist part of you still believed he was innocent. It's alright, we know he's innocent now… we have proof… well, not yet, but we will… Tom, Harry, Tuvok and the Doctor are in there now, working on a plan to save him."

"How will things ever go back to normal B'Ela? Can we ever be husband and wife again – a family… that's all I've ever really wanted, but Starfleet got in the way and now when I had a chance to have it all, this happens. I thought I'd lived my life of adventure and pain in the Delta Quadrant and now this. Everyone I've ever loved has been taken away from me..." Kathryn clenched her hold on Taya, who still fed unfazed by what was going on around her, "Was it right to let go B'Elanna? I loved him so much, more that I thought – even when we got married I didn't realised it was this strong… I love him and that scares me. I don't want to lose him and yet I want to let myself love him."

_Those words hit B'Elanna so strong… that she remembered once, long ago, when Kathryn had stood starring at herself in the mirror, B'Elanna next to her adjusting her veil when Kathryn had turned to her, "Are you sure I'm going the right thing 'Lanna?"_

"_Cap… Kathryn, you and Chakotay were meant to be together. I think that not going through with this would definitely be the wrong thing to do." _

"_I don't know 'Lanna. All the men I've loved from the past… they've either died, lied, or well or relationship has met some sort of ill fate. I don't think I could go on if something were to happen to Chakotay and yet I love him more than I have any of the others and that scares me… I don't want to lose him and yet I want to let myself love him and I feel that by being selfish I'm sending him to his doom." _

"_Oh Kathryn, by not marrying him, you'll be sending him to his doom. His heart has been broken so many times" _B'Elanna hesitated to add 'by you' and decided to opt it out, _"Would it not be better to have one night of utter bliss before losing him, or to break this up and feel pain not only now, but when you lose him – because then, you'll feel that even one night would have been worth it." _

"_Your right 'Lanna," Kathryn stroked her ex-Chief Engineer's face, "When it comes to space I know exactly what to do, but when it comes to matters of the heart, I'm so glad I have you."_

"_You'd be getting advice from Seven… and would probably be dating a new version of Data the Android." Kathryn had forced a laugh to that, but B'Elanna hadn't had time to notice when there was a knocking on the door. _

"_Chakotay?" Kathryn's eye's widened as she attempted to shut the door in his face. _

"_You're not supposed to be here," B'Elanna admonished as she ushered him out the door until he was standing in the hallway, the door Kathryn's was hiding behind only open an inch. _

"_I've got to talk to Kathryn." _

_B'Elanna looked at Kathryn, who previously had been leaning against the door, chest heaving, cheeks blushing with excitement at the prospect of seeing her husband-to-be, but now he face had fallen and she nodded to B'Elanna. _

"_I'll leave, but remember, you're not supposed to see her… so you, old man" She attempted to keep the atmosphere light, "Stay on this side and Kathryn you are not allowed to open this door – understood." _

"_Yes ma'am," Chakotay mock saluted. B'Elanna decided that if he could joke back it must not be serious. _

_**...xxx…**_

"_You know Chakotay, you're not supposed to be here," She searched for something to say. _

"_I just had to see my bride."_

_Kathryn peeked round the door, "So you're not jilting me then." _

_Chakotay chuckled, "Oh Kathryn, never! I just wanted to… to give you this." _

"_What is it?"_

"_An old locket, my grandmother gave to me – it's one of the few reminders I have of my family on Dorvan Prime… except she didn't give it to me, it was meant for my bride… it gives luck, protection, longevity of marriage and…" his voice dropped a notch, "fertility."_

"_Chakotay!" Kathryn's hand snaked out the door to whack him lightly on the chest. "We have to get through the wedding first." _

"_I wanted you to have it before… in case you have any doubts."_

"_I love you Chakotay, what other doubt is there to have?" _

"_I'm glad Kathryn – will you wear it?"_

"_Now?"_

"_Uhuh."_

"_Of course, everyday… although Starfleet doesn't allow jewellery when on duty – but I'm an Admiral… Oh Chakotay…" She opened the door slightly to see him already leaning forward prepared for this kiss he knew she would bestow on him._

_It was only as the kiss was deepening that B'Elanna rounded the corner. _

"_I knew I couldn't leave you two alone for a second! What were you thinking – it's bad luck to see to bride before the wedding. Honestly – of all people I thought the two of you would have more sense."_

"_Come now B'Elanna, he hasn't seen all the dress and my hair's not even done yet." _

"_Humph!" Was B'Elanna's only response as she ushered Kathryn back into the room… However she did allow Kathryn to give him one last kiss on the cheek, though the wink she gave him and the way she fingered the locket she was wearing went unnoticed. _

Kathryn shifted Taya over to her shoulder to burp her and Miral toddled up to the porch from where she had been playing in the sand box. "Aunty Kathwyn?" She asked, crawling onto her Aunt's lap, "You noe ewerything rite?"

"I try to anyway," Kathryn laughed.

"Then why are dere two" Miral held up two fingers as though to illustrate, "Two men hiding behind that twee?"

TBC…

A/N: Well, is that back on track… or not? Lemme know…


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